You did it! You've weeded through seemingly thousands of questionable online dating profiles (we're looking at you, hairy man riding a unicorn on Tinder) and found the one person you're willing to date!
He could be The One -- or at least the one you're willing to share a really awkward first date with. But your expectations for that date versus the reality of it can be very different, particularly after a really long dry spell. Don't give up hope -- but also don't say we didn't warn you.
*Before the date, you text a friend.*
*Expectation:* "I need you to be on alert in case this guy is an ax murderer and we need to enact the escape plan," you say.
*Reality: *You accidentally send the text to your date, thereby casting an awkward cloud over the whole evening.*Whatever, you're already over it. Time to meet this dude. *
*Expectation:* You walk in and all heads turn in the place, including your date's.
*Reality: *You epically eat shit because you're graceful like that.*You lock eyes with your date. *
*Expectation: *Oh, hello.
*Reality: *He's a little...intense.*Time for dinner! *
*Expectation: *You suggest going to that ramen place known for bringing the heat -- and you slurp down those spicy noodles like a pro.
*Reality: *You are not a pro.
*Dinnertime small talk. *
*Expectation: *The conversation is titillating -- and you never once mention your ex.
*Reality: * You mention your ex.*Yikes, let's move on. What's the chemistry like between you and this new guy?*
*Expectation: *Off the charts. We're talking Gosling-McAdams levels here.
*Reality: *You're firmly at Erin Andrews-50 Cent levels of chemistry -- and our fingers are crossed that you're the Erin and not the Fiddy in this scenario.*Maybe you need to try a little harder. Time to deploy that come-hither look that used to bring all the boys to the yard way back when.*
*Expectation*: Boom.
*Reality: *Yeah, no. You need to stop that immediately.*On a whim, your date suggests you guys go dancing. *
*Expectation:* You've got this. You love dancing -- and you look effortlessly cool as always.
*Reality: *Eh, not so much.*You're utterly spent. You dial it back and suggest getting some coffee. You're about to fall asleep and it's only 10 p.m. *
*Expectation: *The barista adds little steamed milk hearts to you and your dates' lattes so clearly, it must be love.
*Reality: *It's too late for coffee to save you. Look at you, you fell asleep in the Uber.*The end of the date. *
*Expectation: *You walk up to your door and make out on the doorstep because the chemistry is like woah.
*Reality: *You awkwardly hug for two unbearable seconds and even that is too long. Kill. Me. Now.*Dating: never again.*
Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for our newsletter here. Reported by Huffington Post 10 hours ago.
He could be The One -- or at least the one you're willing to share a really awkward first date with. But your expectations for that date versus the reality of it can be very different, particularly after a really long dry spell. Don't give up hope -- but also don't say we didn't warn you.
*Before the date, you text a friend.*
*Expectation:* "I need you to be on alert in case this guy is an ax murderer and we need to enact the escape plan," you say.
*Reality: *You accidentally send the text to your date, thereby casting an awkward cloud over the whole evening.*Whatever, you're already over it. Time to meet this dude. *
*Expectation:* You walk in and all heads turn in the place, including your date's.
*Reality: *You epically eat shit because you're graceful like that.*You lock eyes with your date. *
*Expectation: *Oh, hello.
*Reality: *He's a little...intense.*Time for dinner! *
*Expectation: *You suggest going to that ramen place known for bringing the heat -- and you slurp down those spicy noodles like a pro.
*Reality: *You are not a pro.
*Dinnertime small talk. *
*Expectation: *The conversation is titillating -- and you never once mention your ex.
*Reality: * You mention your ex.*Yikes, let's move on. What's the chemistry like between you and this new guy?*
*Expectation: *Off the charts. We're talking Gosling-McAdams levels here.
*Reality: *You're firmly at Erin Andrews-50 Cent levels of chemistry -- and our fingers are crossed that you're the Erin and not the Fiddy in this scenario.*Maybe you need to try a little harder. Time to deploy that come-hither look that used to bring all the boys to the yard way back when.*
*Expectation*: Boom.
*Reality: *Yeah, no. You need to stop that immediately.*On a whim, your date suggests you guys go dancing. *
*Expectation:* You've got this. You love dancing -- and you look effortlessly cool as always.
*Reality: *Eh, not so much.*You're utterly spent. You dial it back and suggest getting some coffee. You're about to fall asleep and it's only 10 p.m. *
*Expectation: *The barista adds little steamed milk hearts to you and your dates' lattes so clearly, it must be love.
*Reality: *It's too late for coffee to save you. Look at you, you fell asleep in the Uber.*The end of the date. *
*Expectation: *You walk up to your door and make out on the doorstep because the chemistry is like woah.
*Reality: *You awkwardly hug for two unbearable seconds and even that is too long. Kill. Me. Now.*Dating: never again.*
Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Divorce on Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for our newsletter here. Reported by Huffington Post 10 hours ago.